Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
