hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
