just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
