That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
