Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
