you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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