margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
