I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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