I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
