Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize