3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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