I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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