hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
