I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Small penises have feelings too.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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