we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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