hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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