I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
