Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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