just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
