What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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