i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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