I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
