Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
