think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
