his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize