TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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