If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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