Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
