"it" just moved
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize