I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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