Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
