I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
