At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
