But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
