I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
