Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
