So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
