i just wanna soil my oats bro
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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