im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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