am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
