i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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