You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
