OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
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