I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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