Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
She needs sedatives and a leash
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
