i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
