Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Your dad touched me again.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
