this boner is exhausting
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize