Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
