I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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