he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I am one with the molecules
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
