The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He did a backflip because drugs
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
