I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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