addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
whose parrot is this?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
