Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
