Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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