Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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