You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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