i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
