So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
