Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize