apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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