Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
