I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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